To build bridges and learn from others, we need to be great listeners. Here are some tips:

• Give the speaker your undivided attention.
• Make eye contact.
• Be patient and allow the speaker to open up at his or her own pace.
• Don’t interrupt the speaker.
• Pay attention to your body language, and watch the speaker’s.
• Ask meaningful and relevant questions, and keep an open mind.
• Be aware of preconceptions you may have about the speaker’s circumstances and consider the possibility that you may be mistaken.
• Try to imagine yourself in other person’s shoes: sympathize, and if possible, empathize.
• Think carefully before responding.
• Try to be non-judgmental.
• It’s okay to feel uncomfortable with something the speaker says; try not to let your emotions distract you or make you defensive.
• Resist the temptation to be the first person to speak after a lull in the conversation.
• Avoid giving direct advice unless you’re asked to do so.
• Don’t assume that the speaker’s experiences are the same as yours.
• Encourage the speaker by occasionally summarizing and restating what the speaker has said.
• Resist the urge to try to “fix” the speaker’s problems.
• Concentrate and try to remember what you’re hearing.
• Assure the speaker that matters shared in confidence will stay that way.
• At the end of the conversation, let the speaker know that you’ve enjoyed hearing what he or she had to say.
• (And don’t even think about checking your phone while having a serious conversation.)

Can you add to this list? Contact us to share your thoughts.